Pretensions would like to introduce the TBlog community to the blog The Online Citizen (TOC) which basically aims to serve as a relatively uncensored forum for Singaporeans to air their views on issues that concern them. It actually works more like an online newspaper or current affairs magazine and has an eclectic staff list that takes in university students, members of the political opposition, lawyers, ex-newspaper people etc. It is nice to see a newsletter/forum that dares question what we all know should be questioned.

Columnist Leong Sze Hian has written a nicely pointed piece questioning some aspects of the Prime Minister's National Day Rally Speech and the press release on the forcing out of Burmese/Myanmar patriots from Singapore has sadly not seen much of an airing in the local newspapers. Of course, news of peaceful rallies was dutifully covered, but news of possible appeasement of the Burmese government? Talk about self-censorship!

To close, P would like to leave you with a satirical email that has been making the rounds after the PM's recent Rally speech. P has tried to translate dialect, malay & Singlish terms in square brackets for non-Singaporean readers, but some of the humour just can't be translated, sorry!

Dear Prem Ministar

We citizens of Singapore urge you to PLEASE MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

We DO NOT NEED your help.
Every time, you mention HELP, we have to run for cover!!!
Help the poor? Raise GST! [Goods and Services Tax]
Help traffic flow? Up ERP! [Electronic Road Pricing]
Help passenger service? Up Bus fare/MRT fare!
Help us get taxi? Raise taxi fare!
Help us get good government? Raise Minister and Civil servant salary!
Everytime YOU WANT TO HELP, we all PAY FOR IT!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU...TOLONG [please]  LAH, please, we will HELP OURSELVES, no
need
your help liao.
We DARE NOT ask for help any more!!!
Sir, most honoured sir, I urge you NOT TO HELP Singapore INVEST also!
Everytime your wife invest, we all lose money! Kao liao [Enough], kum siah [Thank you]!
Just let us have a dose of bad governance, like recently the Mat
Selamat
case [he is an escaped terrorist], like dat....so far, it is ok,
your incompetence, we ACCEPT!

PLEASE DO NOT help us have better security! Wait we all kena [have to] PAY FOR
IT!!
I believe ALL SINGAPOREANS PREFER NOT TO HAVE CRUTCH MENTALITY!
I think it is ok lah, please just take your salary and enjoy life ok?
Thank you thank you,
I am very chin chai one, any how any how, no need to help oso can on



------------------------- ------------------------- ---------------------

Dear Chin Chai One

10Q you for your letter. On behalf of the Prime Minister, I am replying
to your letter as follows.

As the erected party of Singaporeans, we are here to serve.

We are demon-cratic country, you are master, we gahmen [government with local accent] servant, we
serve you. You got problems we must help. You say no need our help?
That means your not Singapore 's master. You say you run for cover?
Cannot one, our police will find you.

GST is to help the Gahmen to help yourself. The Gahmen Service Tax is
everywhere, you go America also have one, cannot run one.

Traffic very bad, so bad that we have to hold car racing at nite to
avoid traffic jam [Refers to the F1 coming to S'pore]. We believe there is no free lunch like PM's father
say before, you use, you must pay, so Every Road Pay. So you see no ERP
cannot one.

Needless to say, passenger service also must pay. The increase in bus
fare and MRT and taxi fare are very little already. We forsee world
inflation coming: oil, steel, pay of foreign talents etc, so we have to
pay for the service.

You see, many foreign talents come to Singapore . If we don't pay our
ministers well, they will go other countries to be their foreign
talents. So must raise salary to keep them. If not, Nathan, Shanmugam,
Bala [these are Indian Members of Parliament] etc will go India and work. Khaw will go Malaysia . etc etc. Must
keep them. To keep them must pay well..

You are right, any help also must pay.

To help yourself? No, it's illegal. You mean you can build your own
MRT? Run your own buses? Drive your Ba-Ong-Chia [Taxi]? Build your own roads?
Seow liao [You're crazy]!! Every one help himself then how? No social order lah! Ga
ga ask for help, we are here to serve you.

We understand some of you have temporary problem. Dont worry, it is
only short term. We must look long term. We must invest long term. Now
lose a bit dont cow beh cow boo [complain], long term! Yes, remember. 30 or 50
years later we will own Swiss banks, US banks, UK properties, maybe
even South Pole condominiums. We must tighten our seat belt and bite
our false teeth. The future very bright. As long as you continue to
support the gahmen 30 to 50 years you will see bright future. So Chiang
See Tong [Endure the pain, also sounds like an opposition MP] a bit lah. Also, investing is very complicated business, not
easy. We must pay school fee to learn from advanced countries.

On Selamat's case, we also must learn our lesson. We encourage
life-long-learning. I learn whole life time, you learn whole life, Mr
Wong Cant Sing [Refers to MP Wong Kan Seng] also whole life learning. It's actually good. Mr Wong
already apologise, dont force a dog to jump over the wall, the wall may
collapse. Old dog cannot jump high also.

Selamat's case gives us many lessons. We must be on alert, not too
complacent. Now every Singaporean know there can be a terrorist among
us any time. This is the best self defence education !! PM will give Mr
Wong another salary increment for that.

Also now we merge the prisons and detention centre, more space will be
available now. We will build it like another IR [Integrated Resort - aka Casinos], Integrated Retention -
so those dont want our service and thinking of doing illegal service
will go there. We will pass a new law too, the expenses for stay in
that IR will be deducted from your CPF [Central Provident Fund; like a pension] money.

Remember we must be grateful to people who help us -- and pay.

I hope I have explained the situation and give you the message clearly.
If you still need help, please call my handphone:  9990-6767  , it's
toll-free [999 connects you to the police].

By the way, Mr Chin Chai One, our pioneer Toh Chin Chai already toh [died; it's also a surname]
long ago. So if you choose to be Chin Chin Chai Chai! , you will also
Toh..

10Q you again,

Reguards,

Ah Beng [Local term for a hick]
Grassrude secretary